About Us

Good news about the civil charges against Rock Hard Peanuts!

 Civil charges against Rock Hard Peanuts LLC (Denver, CO) have been dismissed by the Colorado District 3 court.  The charges, filed by an unnamed woman, stated that she choked on three Rock Hard Peanuts that were in her mouth at the same time.  Rock Hard Peanuts claimed that the eating instructions explicitly stated that a person should put a maximum of two Rock Hard Peanuts in their mouth at a time; and that is only recommended for people with many years experience of putting long, hard peanuts in their mouth.  After 5 days of intense arguments from the prosecution and defense the case was thrown out because it was determined that the plaintiff had put three extra long, extra thick Rock Hard Peanuts in her mouth without choking after taking some ecstasy at a college party 10 years before.   

Rock Hard Peanuts, a T-shirt and peanut distributor who claim to sell “The Longest Hardest Peanuts”, believe this ruling should allow them to expand into additional global markets that have previously been dominated by shorter, softer peanuts.  CEO Art Vandelay believes that everyone who enjoys putting peanuts in their mouth would prefer longer, harder peanuts.  He says Rock Hard Peanuts has spent years analyzing the peanuts market and they have boiled all their research down to one key takeaway “It doesn’t matter if you are a guy or a girl….Nobody wants to put short, soft peanuts in their mouth”.

Rock Hard PeanutsTM originated back in 1995 in the soil rich Studebaker farms of Colorado.  Once customers got their hands on the Rock Hard Peanuts they were hooked.  The peanuts were so popular that it created such a buzz where the customers wanted to advertise them, thus the Rock Hard Peanuts apparel line was created.  From that point on the company exploded.  Currently Rock Hard Peanuts are in small mom and pop and niche retail shops, where they struggle to keep up with the demand.  Recently Rock Hard Peanuts have been approached by some large distributors, so the good news with the help of the distributors more people will be exposed to Rock Hard Peanuts and will be able to wear one of our shirts with pride.   Stay Rock Hard!

The mission of Rock Hard Peanuts T-shirts is to produce high quality funny t-shirts that will generate reactions.  Our logos, combined with our phallic peanut character, are subtle enough to ride the fine line between being slightly offensive and being extremely humorous.   If you are looking to wear a t shirt that will generate reactions we guarantee a Rock Hard T-Shirt is the right shirt for you.

If you are looking to distribute we are always willing to talk….give us a call!

Rock Hard Peanuts LLC

Denver, CO